PRAISE THE MESSHIA & all his jewfro gloriousness for this new outtake from the Details Covershoot.

What’s he thinking about? (Besides his speech at tonight’s late-night Shiantology prayer group…that’s a given). Leave it in the comments!

BRB passing out.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon tickets on sale now!

He never fails to make us laugh:

On the Wall Street trading floors where he went to learn the banking ropes:
“I thought my life was pretty wild. I’m Richie Rich. I land in New York, secretly thinking I’m like the coolest guy in the world. I’ve been on the cover of GQ! But then I met these guys, and it’s humbling. It’s the most sex-drugs-and-rock-’n’-roll atmosphere that exists on the planet. I was hanging out with some wild human beings.”

On getting past the stereotypes of Wall Street traders:
“It’s easy to villainize these guys with the big paychecks,” he says. “But they’re not all bad. I’m a pretty left-wing character, and I come from whatever collar is lower than blue. But meeting these guys really opened my mind a lot. I’ve never seen people with more drive and determination in my life.”

On his relationship with co-star and girlfriend Carey Mulligan:
“I never really had anything in my life that was off-limits,” he says, visibly trying to control his natural inclination to share, to think out loud, to let his voice run free. “But with this, just out of respect, I just don’t want to f-ck around. She’s an unbelievably thought-provoking actress, the most talented actress I’ve ever met in my life, by leaps and bounds. Neither one of us are fame whores. It works out. It’s not like we’re the premiere couple; we’re not the red-carpet king and queen.”

On his widely-publicized car crash:
“I’d be watching the news, and they’d play my car crash, and every once in a while Kim Kardashian’s sister would jump on TV and preach to me from the red carpet about how to live my f-cking life. And I’m so upset, man. I’m so angry. Because this accident was not caused by me. I got hit. I had a green. This f-cker ran a red light. And he flipped my truck, and he shoveled it on my hand. And my fingers are in the street… they’re off, they’re under the truck door, man. This is fake, dude,” he says, lifting his newly reconstructed hand. “This is hip bone and the skin that was left over…”

On his newfound hobby, trading:
“I trade in my boxers now. I’m up early for the markets. I’m real-time all day long.” He loves the game and the thrill and the nerves of the market; and the market, it seems, loves him right back. As of the morning of our lunch, Shia says his online Schwab Active Trading account had grown to close to $450,000.

On working with Oliver Stone:
“He is a doctor of human manipulation,” Shia says of Oliver Stone. He means it as a compliment. “One of the first things you do with Oliver,” Shia says, “is you start talking about your personal life. You give it all to him at the beginning, and then he has these strings with which he can fuck with you. He regurgitates this stuff at inopportune moments. He will just come up and whisper a phrase in your ear, sing a song, mention something about your dad, and—pow!—it puts you in a different world.”

On his co-star Michael Douglas, whose son was recently arrested for trafficking cocaine and crystal meth and faces a long prison term:
“Michael Douglas was an open wound on the set,” Shia says. “That dude is in pain. He was emotional putty on the set. A struggling man. We filmed a struggling man.”…Stone and Douglas wrestled all the time on-set, says Shia. “That is their process. They f-cking go at it like rams, all day long, every day. They know that they feed off each other in a way that they don’t get with anybody else, but they hated each other.”

On being manipulated by Oliver Stone:
“We’d be on the street, and Oliver would just say, ‘Go to that bar, get f-cked-up, and come back.’ I’d walk over, get smashed, and go back to work. He would really f-ck with me when I was smashed. I get aggressive when I’m smashed, and he’d film that. He would just open you up completely, make you f-cking naked-and then call, ‘Action.’”

OMG YOU GUYS. NO WORDS NEEDED. JUST LOOK, PRINT, STARE FOREVER. REPEAT.

Shia is nominated to appear on the April cover of Portrait magazine!!!! Let’s get him to win this, folks! If you go to the website you will see the option to vote on the right hand side in the drop down menu. Make sure you submit it! http://portraitmagazine.net/

Thanks to Amanda for the heads up!

But we’ll settle for one. Which Shia do you wanna use and abuse? Leave it in the comments!

Here’s the scan from Shia’s spot in People’s Sexiest Bachelors list. Should be on the cover, but we’ll take this I suppose…